tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post2080215424988388816..comments2023-07-05T08:41:30.738-04:00Comments on Three Cats and a Baby: InsensitiveThree Cats and a Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16757969648902689785noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-63424047432841116352010-04-29T22:46:01.382-04:002010-04-29T22:46:01.382-04:00OMG, some people seriously astound me with their l...OMG, some people seriously astound me with their lack of tact and common sense when talking to those of us dealing with infertility. *huge hugs*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-82055286688430002172010-04-29T16:29:39.919-04:002010-04-29T16:29:39.919-04:00Oh my God ... I feel your pain. I hear the stories...Oh my God ... I feel your pain. I hear the stories and how that they want me to come to their baby showers and they fully know what is going on with me. (TTC:7 years) I am sorry that people don't think. Thank you for your story .. I don't feel so alone. Thank you.Rosalindanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-48610522684723030272010-04-28T11:05:23.511-04:002010-04-28T11:05:23.511-04:00People really don't think before they speak so...People really don't think before they speak sometimes! Horrible! They try to relate in some way, but in the end they sound just dumb and insensitive. I'm sorry **hugs!**Jen @ After The Alterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08825940318681023321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-14177767327302678202010-04-27T08:13:58.642-04:002010-04-27T08:13:58.642-04:00There is nothing I can add to what has been said b...There is nothing I can add to what has been said before by your other blog visitors. Because I am, in some senses, a step removed from where you stand, I have been known to cut someone off in the middle of their stream of hurtful babble and just stay "Stop. This isn't helpful." But when I was the IF woman, I did much the same as you and held both my temper and my tears, to be the one who walked the higher path.<br />Check out my Fertility Support Tips on Twitter: this week I will gear them toward awareness of infertility.<br /><br />Lisa (ICLW #65 and on Twitter @yourgreatlife)Lisahttp://yourgreatlife.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-22960720634151704992010-04-26T23:13:20.117-04:002010-04-26T23:13:20.117-04:00Wow I can't believe people say these things. B...Wow I can't believe people say these things. But what I can't believe is how you have kept your composure through all of those hurtful words. I give you a lot credit. I don't think I would have acted as graceful as you. You are awesome.Nikihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04533721407019744661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-91536512232711076492010-04-26T22:25:51.458-04:002010-04-26T22:25:51.458-04:00Oh sweetie, how many times I have been in your sho...Oh sweetie, how many times I have been in your shoes, I can not count. It's like people just don't GET infertility and all the emotions that are attached to it. I have read a little bit about your journey and you seem like an amazing person. Best of luck in your adoption journey. I hope you get to hold that new little memeber of your family in your arms soon. <br />Sarah<br /><br />Followers welcome @ www.hopewishbelieve.blogspot.comSarahMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13854053518150102542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-79823144750799469482010-04-26T19:49:05.502-04:002010-04-26T19:49:05.502-04:00Stopping by from Busted Plumbing & all I can s...Stopping by from Busted Plumbing & all I can say is wow, it's unbelievable that people have been so incredibly insensitive to you. You're a stronger woman that I, I don't know that I could have held it together & not screamed some education into their closed minds! Just wanting to send you some love & hugs:)rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06480554666969330506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-53505324847558896742010-04-26T19:33:57.158-04:002010-04-26T19:33:57.158-04:00I'm visiting via BustedKate, and wanted to tel...I'm visiting via BustedKate, and wanted to tell you I couldn't agree more with this post. During my five-year struggle with infertility, I heard so many insensitive comments that I could've (and probably should've!) filled a book. Why is it that when someone knows you're having trouble conceiving, it's like an open invitation for them to tell you how fertile <i>they</i> are? There were many times I had to restrain myself from slapping someone - including my own mother-in-law! - who said something like, "All my husband had to do was hang his pants over the bedpost and I'd get pregnant." Ugh! <br /><br />I guess people just don't know how to respond - but they need to know that when you're not sure what to say, silence is often the best option!Rita Templetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10332325707063104082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-45535003274374551862010-04-26T17:48:22.574-04:002010-04-26T17:48:22.574-04:00I know it hurts at the moment, and we can't co...I know it hurts at the moment, and we can't control our feelings just our reactions to them. That's a fact. Feelings come and go. But their stupidity can't screw up your "happiness" or your present mood. Don't let them. You will always bump into insensitive, rude and stupid people. You can't avoid them, unless you lock yourself in the bathroom for the rest of your life. So the only way of dealing with them is to just ignore them, or if you feel like it, tell them that what they are saying is stupid and it doesn't help you at all in your situation.Tell them that it hurts you , and let THEM feel bad about what they just said. Not you.But don't let their stupidity leave a mark on your mood or your day or on you!!!<br />Screw them all, and try to get the best out of your life and days! Lots of love to ya!<br />Infertile or not, we only live once and our life is too short and our time is too precious to waste it on idiots!:)Enyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00256325136173240909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-82991570230744648132010-04-26T15:30:22.614-04:002010-04-26T15:30:22.614-04:00I wish awareness alone would solve this problem. ...I wish awareness alone would solve this problem. But some people just don't understand how to have conversations tactfully. On any subject. Period. End of story. I'm afraid to tell my mother about my infertility because I know she'll just 'one up' me. I'll have to listen to all her stories of her miscarriages. And stories about anyone she knows who might be going through anything similar. She doesn't mean to be malicious - she just thinks that's how you hold a conversation. And I think she views our relationship as competitive just like her relationship with her sister. The consequence: Anything bad I go through, she (or someone she knew) went through worse. I've known this for years but every now and again I slip up and tell her something because I need Mom comfort. I made that mistake with my divorce. I will not do it again. I don't want to tell my mother anything until I'm either pregnant or in menopause (which will be arriving early).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-5228198717925730512010-04-26T15:26:16.335-04:002010-04-26T15:26:16.335-04:00I just don't understand people sometimes and t...I just don't understand people sometimes and the things they say! How could they all not realize what they were saying, and what it would do to you! I'm so sorry for all you've gone through and for what you've had to listen to!! It's not fair that those of us who have trouble conceiving or can't conceive have to deal with insensitive people.<br /><br />Thank you for the link to my blog and for putting my button up!! Hope we can make #infertility trending today!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-63822645004743809852010-04-26T15:24:10.532-04:002010-04-26T15:24:10.532-04:00(Hugs) I am so sorry. I am so awestruck by her tac...(Hugs) I am so sorry. I am so awestruck by her tactlessness. What audacity!<br /><br />(I found your blog through Busted Plumbing on FB.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-58820766557961908712010-04-26T14:57:37.825-04:002010-04-26T14:57:37.825-04:00I am literally enraged on your behalf. Your story...I am literally enraged on your behalf. Your story is EXACTLY why there needs to be better education and awareness (and a fucking sensitivity chip installed on people). <br /><br />I love you to death, you know how amazing I think you are. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Your strength gives me courage. <br /><br />((HUGS))<br /><br />PS: May I post a link back to this post on my post today?Busted Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13237839616697830224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-41358740630464511372010-04-26T12:33:56.651-04:002010-04-26T12:33:56.651-04:00So sorry. I know it is not easy. I am always amaze...So sorry. I know it is not easy. I am always amazed at the stupidity of others who truly do not "get it". Whether with infertility and/or adoption people can say the most incredibly stupid and insensitive things. I think sometimes people just don't know what to say and they might mean well, but nothing but hurtful words come out and they have no clue what their words have done. <br /><br />(((hugs)))Jaimehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07964293427715224959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-61254715308036128062010-04-26T11:28:26.176-04:002010-04-26T11:28:26.176-04:00There are so many people in this world that are MO...There are so many people in this world that are MORONS! Good grief! Just because you can procreate, doesn't mean you deserve to be a parent! How insensitive of these people. I'm sorry that you had to face that head on. That just kills me that someone tells you things like that. I'm sorry for their stupidity! You are in my prayers and you are so freaking strong!Nikushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04202733194545461460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-77009615916545802052010-04-26T10:17:35.052-04:002010-04-26T10:17:35.052-04:00This post really hurt to read. Lisa, I am so sorry...This post really hurt to read. Lisa, I am so sorry that people are this insensitive. The things that people have said to you are just outrageous and honestly? I feel sorry for those people. They obviously have no idea what it's like to go through what you've been through and they are stupid enough to think you'll want to hear about their pregnancies/babies/abortions/etc. It's sad to realize that people really ARE that stupid. They don't even mean well, they are just dumb.<br /><br />One of my very good friends had colon cancer and needed a hysterectomy as a result. What I am going through is tough, but when I think I just can't fight anymore, I think of Lisa (her name is also Lisa!) and I keep trying to move forward... and she always is the first one to remind me to never give up and the first one to ask how I am. Thank God we have each other. If we didn't, we'd all be surround by rudeness and insensitivity. And no one should have to go through this isolated like that.<br /><br />(((hugs))) I admire you so much. You are stronger than you know.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-55555300930534246952010-04-26T09:52:23.569-04:002010-04-26T09:52:23.569-04:00You have got to be kidding me? Where are these pe...You have got to be kidding me? Where are these people from? The lack of caring and consideration is appaling!!! I am sorry.Kendra Rodriguezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08563191480543406088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-10095473358800145562010-04-26T01:19:06.481-04:002010-04-26T01:19:06.481-04:00Wow! I am just speechless reading these stories! I...Wow! I am just speechless reading these stories! I am so sorry! It really hurts when people have the worst timing!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-63568457901028800242010-04-26T00:03:25.985-04:002010-04-26T00:03:25.985-04:00The really stupid thing about all of what those pe...The really stupid thing about all of what those people said is that they probably sincerely THOUGHT they were being helpful or trying to cheer you up.<br /><br />I'd love to slap all of them for you.Jennahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14118939577916059526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-5957311362980121752010-04-25T19:24:14.870-04:002010-04-25T19:24:14.870-04:00This is absolutely terrible. I don't know why...This is absolutely terrible. I don't know why people think that because we have troubles having babies that people think we want to hear about their morning sickness or other crap. This is supposed to make us feel better? I'm so sorry you had to go through this.Alexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07524692943966582775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-31558251628879339012010-04-25T18:56:44.008-04:002010-04-25T18:56:44.008-04:00ugggh I swear people can be so freaking insensitiv...ugggh I swear people can be so freaking insensitive due to ignorance. Sounds like youve heard it all. Didnt think people were that ignorantAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00104167400523497765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-68280628027590933672010-04-25T18:52:12.351-04:002010-04-25T18:52:12.351-04:00I have to admit, I don't get it - not because ...I have to admit, I don't get it - not because I'm not sensitive about the topic of infertility, but because I have not been through what you, or anyone else has. To sit and pretend like I understand seems insensitive to me. But it amazes me that people feel the need to offer advice who haven't been through it, or make comments that show complete disregard for what someone has been through. I'm so sorry this woman seems to just be clueless, insensitive and rude. Even though people don't go through the same battles in life, we can have empathy for each other's battles!Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00792827926662946519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-54696166709812384802010-04-25T18:48:57.079-04:002010-04-25T18:48:57.079-04:00Uuuuugggghhhhh. Why are some people so incredibly ...Uuuuugggghhhhh. Why are some people so incredibly insensitive/boneheaded? I'm sorry about all of those comments. Sometimes people should just keep their mouths shut!Blondiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12127240005780171295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-20308967220680097062010-04-25T18:45:23.936-04:002010-04-25T18:45:23.936-04:00I am SO sorry! I really don't know what to sa...I am SO sorry! I really don't know what to say, that is so horrible. I sometimes (not always) take pleasure in the fact that these people are stupid. Sometimes I just cry. I've found most people aren't really listening, they're just waiting for their turn to talk. When I learn that's who they are, I avoid talking with them about anything important. I wanted to say good luck, but that doesn't seem like the right phrase, so I will just say I hope your adoption comes through very soon!Hopehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01278076525036474103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3923391970801545914.post-3758832453109801222010-04-25T17:59:52.223-04:002010-04-25T17:59:52.223-04:00Oh my god. I am so sorry. I think people sometimes...Oh my god. I am so sorry. I think people sometimes lose the thread when someone gives them their own painful news. They try to fill up the air and give no thought to what they are saying.<br /><br />We got a lot of of "But you're still trying right?" and "I know someone who adopted and right after, they got pregnant!" Dio mio.<br /><br />Hang in there. There are a lot of people rooting for you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com