I really want to blog about something, but I don't want to deal with people's reactions to it.
So, I won't blog it.
That has been happening a lot lately. Of course I always considered these things before posting, but it's at an all time high lately.
I'm not sure whether the solution is to maybe start a new blog...or care less about what people think.
When you are blogging, how much do you take into consideration what other people will think/comment? Do you sometimes fear comments? Or do you just write and post freely? (I envy you.)
Have any of you had real life consequences from something you blogged?
Have you ever had a troll that was particularly threatening/harassing or scary?
I'm interested in hearing your thoughts and stories.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
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I cant tell you how many times I have started writing a post, or even writing it for a couple of days, just to reread it and then delete the whole thing wondering how others will take what I have read, think of me of how I feel and what I am trying to say. At the end of the day, I figured, I blog to vent. I blog to share. I blog as my own sorts of therapy. There are too many times and too many places in real life where we need to sensor ourselves. Yes, there are times when I still "edit" what I say, but for the most part, I say whats on my mind and how I see things. Its hard not to think about what people may think of me or how what I say may or may not impact others. This is your blog. This is a place where you should feel that you can say what ever you need to say in order to help yourself or just vent whats on your mind and chest. This is a place for you to share your thought and feelings without having to worry about others reactions. I know... easier said than done. I guess I should take up my own advise from time to time... which I will. Starting now :)
ReplyDeleteI started my blog as a safe place to sort through my feelings. My hope was that some folks would read along and offer support/perspective along the way (which is what has happened). I have written about some controversial things (specifying gender in domestic adoption, the Christian 'ownership' of adoption, my thoughts on being adopted) and I haven't had one scary comment. Further, I've written some pretty opinionated comments on posts from other bloggers with link to my blog and still nothing (of course, this comment will invite the wrath :).
ReplyDeleteI just don't care enough to censor myself. I'm 45 years old and I have the right to write what I want in my space (that I am paying for). I do tend to be thoughtful in how I might word something, but that is for the sake of accuracy not editing.
Post away...you will be surprised at how supportive even opposing opinions can be. And, as one astute commenter posted once to my blog when I was wrangling ad infinitum about something, "what are you afraid of?" Do not fear the words of someone you don't even know.
http://itiswhatitisorisit.net/
I feel your pain, I have found myself doing that, too. I hate when I blog and then get unsupportive feedback, and have no one to really blame because I decided to share in the first place! I sometimes don't blog about things to avoid drama. And sometimes I am passive aggressive and poke fun at the unsupportive things that people have said, and this seems to have helped. For example, I got a very opinionated email from a relative about my decision to cloth diaper, and then a few months later when I wrote about how beautifully our cloth diapering was going, I laughed about how clueless previous generations were about modern CDing. I haven't heard another word about it since, but I don't *think* I outright offended her either. And if I did... oh well! And sometimes those types of posts are very gratifying, too, because even if I get negativity, I usually get a lot of support, too. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI pretty much blog freely. I don't really care what people think. I'm also the type of person to respond to the negativity in another post. It may hurt my feelings but I remember that it is just internet and they don't know me in real life.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are that this is YOUR blog. If someone doesn't like what you say, they can click away, or stop following. I'll bet that you will be surprised by the amount of support that you will get. However, having said that, I have 2 blogs. An open one for friends & family, and my anonymous one (although a couple friends know the URL).
ReplyDeleteI don't censor myself much, and I've never gotten a negative comment. But, I blog anonymously. And, one IRL friend who read my blog was offended by a post about why baby showers are hard for me that included her shower as one of many examples of one I couldn't handle attending, and stopped being my friend because of it. So that was bad. I think it's good to be aware of your readership as you're writing, but not worried about it to the point of not saying what you want & need to say. I hope you feel able to share soon!
ReplyDeleteI blog freely. I need that space to vent and to keep things real. My blog is for me, it's my personal thoughts and feelings, and place to put things into perspective for me. If I help others laugh, or sort something out along the way, good. If I make anyone uncomfortable it is their choice to leave. I just hope that whatever made them feel that way, also made them think. I hope that you can blog about what you are thinking about, but if you can't share your thoughts with everyone on your blog, you can always email me. I will be there to listen.
ReplyDeleteYes, I've had real life consequences. I had an anonymous blog a few years ago that a co-worker found by a fluke. I had written about some of my feelings toward my boss (why not use a blog to vent, right?) and nearly lost my job.
ReplyDeleteI still blog these days but I am somewhat more careful. I keep my online venting confined to complaining about my family or other things. I only complain about work to people IRL whom I trust.
I still post about just about anything - I don't really censor myself that much. I figure if people don't want to read it, that's fine. I blog/write to make myself feel better, not to please others.
I don't worry so much about offending my readers, I worry more about offending my family or IRL friends. Right now I just found out that my sister-in-law is expecting twins and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't struggling with the news. But its something that I can't blog about because I'm afraid of hurting her, her husband and my in-laws.
ReplyDeleteI generally don't care what others think but there have been quite a few times where there has been something that I really wanted to share. I didn't because I know that some of these stories involved people who read my blog (friends here where we live).
ReplyDeleteI blog freely for the most part. I figure people are choosing to read my thoughts...they can always leave. That said I do censor myself when it comes to my husband's job (he's in the military), because that could come back to hurt him and I don't say the name or specific details about my job either. No blog online is 100% anonymous no matter what we think, is my personal belief.
ReplyDeleteI blog pretty freely, without much thought to the comments I receive. But I try to be relatively anonymous. I wonder sometimes if someone that I know IRL would stumble across my blog, because they would be able to tell it's me, which terrifies me! Oh well, these are my thoughts and I'm not going to apologize for them...
ReplyDeleteI never blog freely. Every post I write, even the most shallow ones, I think and rethink to make sure I avoid any controversy. I'm not a big fan of negative comments, so I try to avoid them at all costs. I'm sure it affects my blogging to some degree, but it is easier on my psyche. I actually started a separate blog where I write completely anonymously. The only person who knows it is me is my husband. It makes it so I can reach out to people on certain topics but not have any real life consequences to what I write. It has worked out really well for me.
ReplyDelete