Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Upside of a Long Wait

There are many positive things that have come from having a long adoption wait.

(Yeah, I am just as surprised as the rest of you that I am writing this post.)

The first thing is blogging. I would never have started blogging without this wait. Blogging has given me a healthy outlet for my feelings that I used to keep bottled up. Not only has it allowed me to express myself, but it has given me an amazing support system as well. I have met friends I never would have met and I am so thankful to have them. It also lead to blog reading.

I have learned a lot from blog reading. I almost feel as though two years is the amount of time everyone should take to really read and think about adoption before actually adopting. I have come so far from the start of my journey. I have learned so much and my feelings and attitudes have changed so much over time. Just looking at our grids shows how far we have come. Things we would have never been open to in the beginning are not even factors anymore.

This time has strengthened our marriage. I know that if we can get through this, we can get through anything. Many difficult decisions have needed to be made over the last two years and I think we are better prepared to parent as a team because of them.

This wait has also given me time to grieve my infertility. I thought I was "over it" when I began the adoption process. We hadn't done any kind of fertility treatment for a long time and things were kind of in a numb holding pattern. We eventually came to the conclusion that we should begin the adoption process. But in between there wasn't any dealing with the fact that I had those fertility issues. The hysterectomy surgery forced those fertility issues back into my reality. I could no longer think that maybe we would try again after adopting once. If it weren't for the long wait, I don't think I would have grieved the loss of my fertility as thoroughly as I have. I had more issues leftover than I realized.

The wait has also allowed us to buy baby things over time. Buying all new baby stuff is for suckers, haha. There are so many garage sale and craigslist deals that you can get if you look over time. The only new things we have bought are the crib, the pack-n-play, and the car seat. Everything else is used and we have a very full nursery. Baby swing, jumperoo, bouncy seat, toy box, play mat, baby bath, bumbo seat....it's all used, but looks new. We even have a whole dresser full of clothes that look new, but came from garage sales. Most of them were $1. Some of them still have tags on them.

I am definitely not saying I would like my wait to last any longer, but I can admit there are things I have gained from a long wait.

And in case the universe is listening to me right now...... I AM READY TO BE A MOM NOW!!!!


  1. It's a pleasure reading your blog Lisa. I've only been waiting for five months, but reading your experience let's me know what I might expect, and prepares me so I appreciate that you are taking the time so share. It really helps we the readers too!

  2. Hand me downs rock! And being ready to adopt also rocks. Great post.

  3. What a great way to think about it! I like that you're being so positive. I agree - you're ready!!!! Time for a baby!!!!

  4. It sounds like you're in a really great place - minus a baby of course! :) It's also good to know that buying things during the wait isn't taboo. I suppose I'm just superstitious, but I guess it's different when you're adopting. For now, I get my fix by buying cute things for my future niece due in 2 months :)

  5. This is such a great post. I love your positivity and outlook on the situation. But I completely agree--you are READY for a baby! I hope that he or she comes into your life very soon.


  6. UNIVERSE! Lisa is going to be a great mother. She is ready to go. HOOK HER UP!!!

  7. I loved and hated reading your waiting lisa blog. It was super hard to read but I couldn't keep away. I kept wishing and hoping for you, and when Jayden arrived, it seemed unbeleivable and all the more special.