The Teary Infertile at Santa's Workshop

We took Jayden to see Santa the first day it was available at the mall. Silly me thought going before Thanksgiving would mean shorter waiting time. There was some lying miscommunication about what time Santa would be showing up that meant we were in line for well over an hour. By the time he showed up, there was a huge line behind us and Jayden was really sick of waiting in line. But, when Santa arrived with full marching band, I'll admit my frustration melted and I was sappy about Jayden's first time seeing Santa.

Even as we waited in line, the saleswoman (and yes, I am calling her a saleswoman and not santa's helper) was already working on us to buy picture packages.

I had some cash in my pocket, but not enough to even buy just the basic one printed picture. I had no idea Santa pictures were so expensive!

My parents were with us and my Dad had planned on taking some pictures. Of course once I said we weren't getting a package, they told him he had to stand really far away and the salewoman stood in the way of him on purpose.

Because I am the sappy infertile, I was emotional about this whole experience. I waited many years for this. I was so proud of Jayden when he sat in Santa's lap and listened carefully as Santa spoke to him. It was beautiful and perfect and everything I had hoped for. As I was watching, the woman said to me, "You aren't going to buy pictures for his FIRST time meeting Santa?!?" She said it like she was disgusted by me. It hit me hard and I cried. I realize she was just doing her job, but what an awful thing to do to a mom. Moms already have enough guilt about things without being made to feel like the worst mom on the universe for not spending a fortune on Santa pictures.

I mumbled something about losing my job, although it really was none of her business. One of the families I watch are going through a hard time and are not coming for at least a couple months. My income is now half of what it was and money is tight right now. I was trying to go out and have a nice morning with my family and not think about all that. Luckily the tears in my eyes sent the message to leave me alone and stop pushing. I hope because of that she went a little easier on all those mothers behind me.

Fortunately, my Dad has a good camera and was able to take pictures even from far away. We just cropped that woman out of them.

Santa!!!

Even Daddy is excited to see Santa.

The face that makes Mommy's heart melt.

Listening very carefully as Santa talked to him.

Thinking about what he wants to ask Santa for.

Thank you, Santa :)