Monday, September 21, 2009

Professional Worrier

I am a professional worrier. I don't even want to think about the amount of my life that has been spent worrying about things that turn out to be nothing to worry about. If I have anxiety about something, the only thing that seems to work for me is to think it to death. To think every single thought that can possibly be thought about it and then I can let it go. I wish I didn't have to do that, but I do.

This has made the adoption process very difficult for me. I think it is something that is anxiety inducing for the average person. I am hoping this blog will help me in my "thinking it to death" process.

We are currently renewing our homestudy, which expired July 26. We began renewing in early June and it has been one strange obstacle after another.

I don't think it's all the adoption paperwork that really drives us all crazy. We complain about the piles and piles of information you need to give, but I don't think that's really it. It's the little things that happen along the way that keep it from moving forward smoothly. Like when you have to get your finger prints done again because it came back that one finger was too smudged. Or when something you mail to the agency doesn't get forwarded to the right person. Or you buy defective envelopes that don't stay glued closed so your envelopes arrive at the agency with nothing in them. (Yes, that really happened.)

Right now there is one form standing in the way of our homestudy being renewed. Everything else is complete. We have even had our social worker back out to our house. We are just waiting for Adam's doctor to fax his completed physical to the agency. Should be easy, right? Well, then why has this been going on for a month now? I won't go into detail right now, but it has been a number of things from appointment scheduling mix ups to paperwork being filled out wrong. I assumed it was all done since they said they would fax it last week. I should know better than to ever assume. When I found out the adoption agency never received it, I called the doctor and the person on the phone said she can't find the form. She said she needs to wait for the doctor to come in tomorrow to search his office. Adam clearly should have taken the completed form with him after his appointment and put it in the mail, but I told him to have them fax it instead. It would be quicker that way.

I am just so tired of nothing ever happening the easy way. Nothing ever goes smoothly. I have to check on every single piece of paper. I can never assume anything has been faxed or arrived safely. I have been waiting since June to finish this renewal. That's a lot of worrying for a person like me.

There, now that I have vented, I feel better and it's time to enjoy my night with my husband. And he is one lucky man because I already did my venting on here. :)

I am so excited to watch House, How I met Your Mother, and Big Bang Theory!!!

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