Road Trip With A One Year Old

I'll admit that the comments on my pro/con list about whether to go visit my sister after her baby was born kind of bothered me. (Not to mention all the twitter comments.)

None of them were mean and I completely understand where everyone was coming from.

But it made me feel really defensive. I had good reasons not to go, but I felt like everyone was saying they were just silly or selfish reasons. Why wasn't it a major factor that we were going to be spending a lot more money than we had? Why wasn't strapping a screaming baby into a car seat against his will something I should take into consideration?

The plan was never to go to see the baby right away. My sister wasn't expecting us. We would be seeing him in December either way. Me not going wouldn't have been some major insult. The idea of going was a last minute crazy idea I had.

I just found myself so defensive....when in reality I was about 99% sure I was going so I was in agreement with them.

At the time I wrote that post, I already had reservations and an open suitcase that was half full.

But after reading the comments, I was defending the "con" list more and more in my head and I almost convinced myself we shouldn't go.

Adam read the pro/con list and started e-mailing me from work that we were not going. He was serious. Seeing it listed like that made him realize how big of a sacrafice going there would be.

I responded with, "But, did you see everyone's comments? We apparently HAVE TO GO! or we are the worst people ever." He pointed out that people don't know how precarious our financial situation is until we get our adoption tax credit...or how much Jayden really hates even short car rides.

I kept packing as Adam and I went back and forth about whether we should go. It was kind of one of those things that we knew wasn't a great idea, but we also knew deep down that we were going. By the time he got home from work, the suitcase was almost packed.

We left after work the next day.

It was definitely smart to leave in the evening. Adam drove and I sat in the back with Jayden. The first two hours were rough, but then once Jayden's bedtime hit, he fell asleep. He woke up a few times, realized he was strapped into his car seat, and screamed for a bit. Nothing huge, but I did feel awful wiping tears off his face. Poor little thing didn't understand what we were doing to him.

We got to the hotel about 12:30 AM. We checked into our room and saw there was no crib or pack-n-play like we had requested. I sent Adam back to the front desk and the man told him that it was in our paperwork, but nobody set it up and there wasn't anything they could do now because it was too late. I was so mad. They were well aware that we were arriving late and that we needed a crib.

Adam was exhausted and fell asleep pretty quick.

Meanwhile, Jayden, who had been sleeping for hours in the car, was WIDE AWAKE. It was like having a wild animal in our hotel room. Curtains were moving, lamps were shaking, snacks were all over the floor...and this little being was running all around yelling. Jayden and I hung out in the room until about 3 AM when I finally got him to settle down enough to get into bed with me. The bed was smaller than our bed at home so it was not a comfortable fit with all three of us in one bed. I was imagining all the things I was going to say to the front desk in the morning. (None of them were actually said.)

Morning comes and we get a call from my mom saying my dad is sick. Ugh.

Then she tells us that my sister is worried about the germs and she doesn't want us to see my parents at all before coming to see the baby. (We had breakfast plans with them.) It was a really bad start to the trip. At this point I was overtired, crying, and just wanted to go home.

But things got better once we went to my sister's apartment and Jayden got to meet his little cousin.

Although he was much more impressed with their cat!

He seemed to notice all his old baby stuff. And decided he could still use the bouncy seat.

"Mom, I wasn't done with this, why did you give it to the new baby?"

Me with both babies.

Adam with both babies.

It was really hard to believe that Jayden was ever that little. The only way I could believe it was because Ben was wearing Jayden's old clothes and they fit exactly how they used to fit Jayden.

I am thankful we were able to go and see Ben while he was so little, although my sister was still recovering from giving birth and getting the hang of breast feeding so it felt like we barely got to visit with her while we were there.

Adam, my Mom, Jayden, and I had a chance to get out of the apartment for a while to visit a zoo, which was fun.

Ahhhh...this is much more comfortable.

We had a lot of fun in the hotel pool, but I think Jayden's favorite part of the hotel was the other baby in the room.

The trip definitely had it's ups and downs and it wasn't exactly the smart choice financially, but I am glad we went.

One thing I learned was that road trips go much faster if you listen to a book on tape. I highly recommend Bossypants by Tina Fey!

I Love My Pediatrician

When choosing our pediatrician, I mostly based it on two things: A recommendation from a friend I really trust and their office hours.

I watch children during the day and for most of Jayden's first year, Adam and I shared only one working car. It was important to have an office with evening and weekend hours. All of Jayden's well visits have been at 5:30 on Thursdays, a day Adam gets out of work early. Adam has never missed an appointment, which has been so nice for both of us.

Jayden has only ever had one sick visit, but they got us in right away that morning (Adam used personal time and came with us) and we even had a follow up the next morning, which was a Saturday.

One time Jayden scratched his eye ball with his nail during a nap and someone called me back fairly quickly to talk about it and reassure me he was okay. (Which I needed because I was consulting Dr. Google and was convinced he was going blind with every second we waited.) I think it was a Saturday evening and our pediatrician called first thing Monday morning to check on us. I was so impressed by that. (By the way, by Monday it was completely gone! It healed so quick.)

She is a mother, which I feel like makes a big difference. Her son is actually only about two so she just went through all this stuff with her own child. And her son is also small for his age, which has helped tremendously with my worries about Jayden's size. She is very reassuring and shares stories about her son's weight and let's me know some kids are just small and it's okay. Someone has to be at the small end of the chart. She shares tips with me about how to get extra calories in him, but doesn't make a big deal out of it. She said as long as he is growing at a steady rate and not slipping down in percentile from where he used to be, he's okay. Plus, she always makes a big deal about how well he's doing with all his milestones and that it's a great sign for his overall health.

She is always honest and upfront with us about everything. If she sees anything she wants to keep an eye on, she always tells us about it. And she completely understands that I am the kind of person who wants to hear about all the worst case scenarios. For example- if the thing she is watching turns out to be something, what could be the cause and what's the worst thing that could happen. She always goes through it all with me.

She is especially patient and understanding about all my extra concerns that come from Jayden never having prenatal care and having some exposures/risks to worry about.

The biggest reason I love our pediatrician is that I never have to lie to her. I know so many people who lie to their pediatrician. Whether it be about how they feed their baby, sleep issues, whatever. I told myself early on that if I ever found myself feeling like I have to lie to her, I would switch doctors. There are way too many doctors out there to have one that's not a perfect fit for us. She "gets us" and our parenting choices. It's essential to me.

She is leaving to go on maternity leave really soon and I was so thankful that she gave us the date she would be back so we could schedule Jayden's 15 month well visit after she comes back!

Check Your Sunscreen

Someone shared this website with me and I am so thankful to have this information that I thought I would share with all of you.

http://breakingnews.ewg.org/2011sunscreen/

You can look up the current sunscreen you are using for yourself or your child and find out what kind of toxins, chemicals, etc are in it.

I had gotten Aveeno baby sunblock for Jayden. It actually says "mild as water" on the label. I thought I was doing good spending a little more than what most sunscreens cost. Well, it turns out it's awful and full of baby poisons. It's on their Hall of Shame list. Luckily we hadn't used it yet.

I've now switched to one of the sun blocks on the best list. It costs more, but it's safer.

Whatever you use to protect yourself from the sun, I hope you have a wonderful 4th of July weekend!!

Diaper Chemicals...Anyone Else Worried?

For the most part, we use cloth diapers, but we do have disposables in the house for when I don't time things out well and can't finish the laundry in time.

Whenever Jayden is wearing a disposable diaper, I can smell the chemicals.

I said something to our pediatrician about it and she said there really are a lot of chemicals in diapers. She said she doesn't use cloth, but she does use the more natural disposables they sell, with less chemicals.

I have done only a little research into this, but apparently if you ask diaper companies, they won't tell you what is in their diapers. But many websites have some of the chemicals listed and they are scary. Chemicals that are linked to things like asthma and even cancer.

Have you noticed how much thinner diapers are now than they used to be? I work with older children and haven't diapered babies in many years. Not since I was a teenager doing baby-sitting. When we bought diapers for Jayden, I was shocked at how thin they were. I thought maybe we bought the wrong kind, but they are all like that. I found online articles about the proud diaper companies announcing their new diaper innovations that are so much thinner than before. But, they aren't made using magic. They obviously have to be made with more chemicals.

I feel like that is something a lot of people don't talk about. I mean, baby books push for you to feed your baby organic food, but then you should diaper them in chemicals 24 hours a day? I wish diaper companies would make changes in the other direction. Less chemicals instead of more.  I bet mothers would be okay with thicker diapers or diapers not quite as leak proof if it meant healthier.


And even beyond the chemicals being against your baby's skin, these same chemicals then go into the ground....and eventually our water. Think of all the used diapers out there in the world.

I know I worry more than most people, but isn't this something we should be scared of?

Jayden's Big Injury

You may not be able to see it in this picture without enlarging it...but look what happened to my baby's eye!!!

He woke up from a nap on Saturday and I noticed his eye was a little red. A little while later it was even more red and I realized there was a tiny scratch right there on his eye ball!! He must have done it during his nap.

I freaked out and called his doctor's office. It was a Saturday night so I knew I would just be getting the answering service.

While I waited for a doctor to call me back, Adam was consulting Dr. Google. He was reading out loud everything he found and I was getting really scared.

I started packing a bag to take to the hospital. All of a sudden my mommy packing skills kicked in. (I didn't know I had them.) That bag had everything we could possibly need if we had to spend hours in a hospital.

From everything Adam was reading, I was pretty sure Jayden was going blind as we waited for the call.

A nurse called just as I was thinking about the glass eye he would need.

She said if it happened during nap it was probably just a superficial scratch. She said we could call our doctor's office in the morning if it got worse overnight.

(One of the things she told me would be a sign of it getting worse was blurry vision. How in the world do you find out if your 4 month old has blurry vision? Ask him?)

By the morning, it was starting to look a little better.

By the time our pediatrician called us Monday morning to check in about what happened, I could barely see anything. By Tuesday, it was completely gone.

So....new moms worry a lot, huh?

hehe

Snow Storm Anxiety

Apparently the storm of the century is headed this way.

Usually there is nothing that scares me more than a snowday. It means all of a sudden I have a house full of kids all day long because they don't have school. I get a call at 5 AM and I am scrambling to get ready for a full day of activities, snacks, meals, and crazy kids.

Everyone is wondering whether school will be closed tomorrow. It's all over Facebook right now. It takes a lot for schools to close around here.

THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!! I just want to know!

But, as much as school closings are on my mind, the thing I am really worried about is losing power.

We don't lose power very often, but with a baby in the house now, it's made us nervous about it. It's funny how things change. We've never given a power outage a second thought.

Tonight we found our corded phone that we have for emergencies and plugged it in to a phone jack. (Since our cordless phones woudln't work without power.) I've made sure my cell phone is fully charged. (If there is a power outtage, it's important I still have a way to tweet, hehe.)

We have gathered all the candles in the house and put them in one place, along with candle lighters.

We made sure the batteries in the flashlight work.

Adam checked the pantry and decided we could live for months on what was in there.

We have about two weeks of formula and plenty of water.

I washed all the cloth diapers and wipes tonight.

So, we are ready. Ready as we'll ever be.

I hate going to bed not knowing what I will wake up to....

One thing is for sure. We will be doing a lot of shoveling tomorrow.

Sleep

It's really hard to get Jayden to take naps on the weekend. There is always so much going on that he fights sleep and then even if I do manage to get him to sleep, he only sleeps for about 20 minutes.

I am still holding him close to me and patting his bottom to get him to sleep. Someone said I was just creating that as a habit for him and he will never go to sleep on his own. That has been on my mind a lot lately. I have no idea how to change it. No matter how tired he is, if I put him in his bed awake, he will scream. And then scream louder. Then get hysterical.

Thankfully I received reasurrances on twitter today that he is still little and it's okay to still help him to sleep.

We're still swaddling him at night. It's really the only way to get him to sleep through the night. If he gets an arm out, he will cry. Then if we re-swaddle him, he goes right back to sleep. So, for now we are going to continue to swaddle him. I guess that is a benefit of him being little. He still fits fine in those swaddle sleep sacks.

Today I had the idea to try and have him nap in his nursery upstairs for the first time. I figured getting him a floor away from us doing things would help him sleep. I had Adam go up and take everything out of his crib and get it ready. The idea was a total failure though because he woke up as I was bringing him up the stairs and when he got in the room he was FASCINATED by everything in there. He hasn't really ever seen his nursery and he was excited. He was looking at the animals I painted on the ceiling and everything else in the room. 

We realized we had a lot to do to really have it ready for him anyway. So, I sat him in the chair in the room while we cleaned. He sat there with a huge smile on his face looking at everything. He was so happy. So, I guess now we at least know he likes his nursery. Maybe sleep will happen there eventually.

I have decided we are not really moving him up there until we have a video monitor. We have started saving up for one. I just don't feel comfortable without it. Especially since he will be on a different floor from us.

I think overall we will probably sleep better when he is moved, but the one thing I am dreading is his "I lost my pacifier" cry. It will not be fun to run up the stairs at 3 AM. Sometimes he does it multiple times during the night.

Everytime I think too much about all this stuff, I start imaging that we will become one of those families that have wild children who won't go to bed and the Supernanny has to come and teach them how to fix it.

I have decided it's not the lack of sleep that makes parenting so exhausting. It's always wondering and worrying about whether your choices are doing permanent damage to your children. Like somehow rocking him to sleep now will turn him into a bank robber later, haha.