Wednesday, December 22, 2010

One Year Later: Adam's Perspective

One thing I will always give Adam credit for is how well he handled everything surrounding my surgery a year ago. From the minute he found out about it, he was supportive. He said it was even a little bit of a relief to know it's all over with. No more worries about abnormal cell growth, bleeding, and hormones. He was completely fine with the surgery closing any chance he ever had at having a biological child. He was already excited to be a father through adoption.

I had no idea until months later how scared he was during that time.

I started getting clues from a few things he said in the summer. He would say things like just thinking of  Christmas time made him feel sick. That he pictured me in the hospital everytime he thought about Christmas.

Then at Halloween, I took something out of our Halloween box and it had a post-it note on it. You may remember that before my surgery last year I wrote post-it notes on things in case I died (I know, morbid.) or I was too sick to tell people about their presents. I often get Adam Halloween things for Christmas because he loves Halloween so much. It went right into our Halloween box and it still had the post-it note. Finding it was hilarious to me. When I showed it to Adam, I was laughing, but he looked so serious. He said it wasn't funny.

Even getting Christmas decorations out a few weeks ago reminded him of everything we went through last year.

I will admit last Christmas is a complete haze to me. I found presents months later that I had no memory of opening. When I saw the ornament box this year I was confused about where some things were and why I would have put it away like that. Then I realized that for the first time ever I wasn't the one who put everything away.

Now that we have all the decoration up and have started to make new Christmas memories, I think it has helped Adam take his mind off of last year. Now it seems to be all about Jayden's first Christmas.

Sometimes I forget Adam is more sensitive than he seems. From the outside he is a 6'6" football player. On the inside he is someone who went through a lot last year and had to remain strong for me.

15 comments:

  1. What a touching post. Teary eyed before work now.

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  2. *tears and sniffles* It is hard to remember what the guys go through in all of this sometimes. I am glad you have such a strong one by your side!

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  3. *tears*

    This was a beautiful post. <3

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  4. That's really sweet. It's really a great reminder of how blessed we are to have people around us that love us so much.

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  5. I love when a guy will try to be all macho and strong. Deep down there always seems to be some sensitivity and vulnerability. It may take a while for us to crack that shell, but when we do it all makes sense why we love them.

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  6. What a heartwarming post and a sad one all at the same time. It's sometimes hard to remember that our husbands are hurting/fearful/in pain as much as we are. I'm so glad you're able to look back on all of that now.

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  7. That is entirely too sweet! What a beautiful post :O)

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  8. In tears. beautiful post. So happy you will be making new memories this Christmas.

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  9. (*hugs*) What a difference a year makes, right?

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  10. This post brought tears to my eyes Lisa. So happy that you are both in a different place now and have a beautiful miracle to make new memories with.

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  11. Oh wow - this is so sweet. You have an amazing husband.

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  12. Awwwww. I wish I could give all three of you a BIG HUG. <3

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  13. Adam is such a wonderful husband and soul. I'm sorry Christmas reminds him of your surgery, but now you have new memories with your amazing son jayden. Love you and merry Christmas my wonderfully amazing friend. Love you.

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  14. What a year it's been! I think it's safe to say this will be the best one ever for you. Happy holidays!

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  15. What a year!! I'm so glad you've come out on the other side.

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