Itching to Blog

I want to take the time to write a real blog post right now, but if I do, I will probably miss my chance to eat dinner tonight.

I would love to write all about how my sister and brother in law came home (from Boston) last weekend and my brother and sister in law came home (from Portland) this past weekend.

My brother actually spent the whole day here at our house and it broke my heart when he left to go to the airport a couple hours ago.

Last week when my sister left the room after saying good-bye to Jayden and I, Adam said, "He won't be this little next time she comes home." I lost it. I was crying before she was even out of the house. I hate that my siblings live so far away. I am counting down the days until Christmas because they will all be home at the same time. We'll all be together as a family for a full week.

(Notice how I said I didn't have time to blog....and then proceeded to blog....)

I have felt resentful of the fact that I had to start working again right away. The combination of Jayden's colic and working has been kicking my ass. I wish I could have a regular maternity leave like everyone else and just spend this time loving Jayden. Not worrying about work and having my alarm set for 5 AM. But, I keep telling myself it's better this way in the long run. I don't have to worry about going back to work in 6 weeks. I'll still get to be home with him, even if I am working part of that time. It's just hard now with the sleep deprivation.

We've had to change formulas a couple times. The one that we will probably end up sticking with is specifically for babies with colic and costs a small fortune. Our social worker suggested we check with our insurance to see if they will help cover it if our doctor writes a prescription. It would be nice, but I am not holding my breath. I just hope the formula works.

Jayden gave me two huge smiles on Saturday. I've seen little ones here and there but on Saturday there was no mistaking it. I did the same thing twice and got the same smile both times. It melted my heart. All day I kept thinking about it. He hasn't done it since, but it was amazing.

Now that I have written a full blog post after insisting I don't have time to do it....I will leave you with some pictures that make me laugh. My cousin made Jayden a hat, scarf, and booties. I took pictures of him wearing them and posted them on Facebook for her to see. He needs to grow into the hat, hehe.