Deck The Halls

We put our tree up over the weekend. Yes, I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet. You can see my previous post for my justification. :)

When Adam first opened the big box we keep the tree in, Jay got excited and said "tis tis tree!" I couldn't believe he knew what it was. It wasn't even put together yet. And I didn't think he knew what a Christmas tree even was.

He wanted to help through the whole process. When Adam was putting the stand together Jayden was carrying heavy tree pieces across the room. He was signing build. He brought the top part over and told Adam it goes on top.

When Adam put the first ornament on the tree, Jayden ran to the kitchen and got a dish towel to hang  on it, which I found hilarious.

We gave him some soft ornaments he could put on the tree. 

But he got bored pretty quick and went up to this room and got his tunnel out.

And played with his parking garage.

And then there were snacks.

And he found the Nook.

 

And by that point he had really forgotten all about the tree. 

Since then he has left it alone for the most part. Except for crawling under it a few times to get to where the cat was sleeping. The first time he did it, I had no idea where he was. I could hear his muffled voice and then I realized he was behind the tree saying "Mommy! Stuck! Tree! Cat!"

 

Christmas Starts Now

I know I am supposed to complain that radio stations are already playing Christmas music and the stores are flooded with holiday decorations. Grumble, grumble.

But, I love it.

I am so excited for Christmas this year!! I feel like a little kid again.

Last weekend was our big leaf raking weekend (okay, so Adam and Jayden raked leaves and I worked on Etsy orders.) I could not stop thinking about Christmas the whole time so I asked Adam what he thought of putting the tree up early. He said we had to deal with the massive amounts of leaves in our small yard before dealing with the Christmas tree but we could do it next weekend. I was surprised he didn't give me a hard time about waiting until after Thanksgiving.

So the time has come! We are putting our tree up this weekend!! I am so excited. I can't wait to see what Jayden thinks of it all. I can't wait for him to see it all lit up and help put the ornaments on the tree.

Also, our Christmas cards came in the mail this week! I got a good Groupon deal but part of the deal was that I had to use it in the beginning of November.  We didn't get pictures done professionally this year so I just brought Jay out in the backyard and took some pictures with my (old/not very good) camera. You can tell the pictures weren't done professionally, but the cards still look really cute and I can't wait to  mail them.

I've also been putting a lot of thought into Christmas shopping and Black Friday deals. How many of you go out for Black Friday? I am on the lookout for Lego sales because I want to get Jay a couple Duplo sets. 

The other morning when the toddlers I watch got dropped off, their Dad asked if we are "those people" because Adam had put Pandora on the Christmas music station. Haha, yes, we are those people! Just wait until he sees the tree up when he comes on Monday.

But, don't worry, we are not forgetting Thanksgiving. I have photographic proof:

Our front door-

 Our fireplace mantel-

Oh, and I can't forget the turkey Jayden painted-

Frumpy Mom

I can't think of anything I have bought for myself since Jayden was born. That is not a complaint. Honestly, I would rather buy things for Jayden than myself. But recently when we went to the zoo, the plastic in the back of my sneaker broke and popped through the fabric and cut my foot. Of course it happened at the point of the zoo farthest from our car. I had to hobble with my foot half out of the shoe the entire walk back to the car. It was obvious I needed new sneakers, which Adam had been saying for a while. It was getting too cold for flip flops and other than one pair of dress shoes, I don't own anything else.

So, I broke down and bought myself sneakers that cost me an amount that made me cringe. I broke one foot in high school and the other foot in the college so I need sneakers with decent support. I can't just go out and buy something cheap or else my feet will hurt whenever the weather changes. (Yes, I am old.) So logically I knew it was necessary, but it was painful to spend that much.

I was supposed to buy a new pair of jeans and a sweater too, but I couldn't make myself do it after the shoe purchase. They are still sitting in the online shopping cart.

I just feel awful spending money on stuff like clothes for myself. They are so expensive and it feels wasteful. Maybe it's because I buy all of Jayden's clothes used that it makes buying new clothes for myself feel extra ridiculous. I think it's also because I knew going into our adoption that sacrifices had to be made and clothes was always on the top of the list. Especially since I work from home. If we have any money for clothes, I feel like it should go to Adam since he works outside of the home. But, I will admit all of my clothes are extremely worn out. To an embarrassing point.

Nothing has highlighted my frumpiness more than the mom of the two toddlers I watch coming in nice clothes to pick them up after work every day. She looks so nice and professional and my hair is up in a messy (dirty) pony tail and I am wearing junky shorts and a t-shirt. Oh yeah, and my house is a mess. Always. I might as well start coming to the door wearing a snuggie every day.

I could really use a whole new wardrobe. Underwear and bras too. But, that's not going to happen. So maybe I will splurge on those jeans and a sweater and maybe a couple new t-shirts. That way I have something to wear out of the house. I'm telling you it's going to be painful to hit the order button though.

Where Do I Go From Here?

When you go a long time without blogging, it feels like when you finally do post it has to be something big. Lately all I have been doing is random update posts. And lots of pictures. It's been a long time since I have really sat down and wrote a blog post. I have kind of lost my blog voice for two reasons. One is that I don't have the time. The second is because someone gave me hell for one of my posts and I have been afraid to write ever since. Not just a random troll but someone who did things to me personally in my real life too. Even though it happened almost two years ago, if I am being honest, it ruined the whole experience for me. My blog has not felt like a safe place for me ever since. It used to feel like home. Or at least a comfortable therapist's office. Now it feels like a big cold empty stage with a bright light on me.

I do know I would like to start writing more. I feel like maybe if I commit to write a little each day, even if it's something small, I'll get my blogging groove back. But I know that won't happen. I just don't have the time. It's hard to justify blogging when I know I have Etsy orders people are waiting for.

I write blog posts in my head all the time. Often when I am working on an order, I'll think I just need someone to come in and take the post from my head and type it on my blog. Where can I get that service? How come you guys can't just see into my brain?

I guess another option is to just shut down my blog. Stop letting it sit here making me feel guilty all the time. Or maybe move to somewhere private to write.

I really don't know what the answer is. All I know is I want to stop feeling bad about it.

I'm going to try to come back tomorrow and really write. If I can manage that, maybe there is hope for my blog after all.

Fall Pictures

 Adam and I love the Fall. Being able to share that with Jayden has been so much fun.

 I love hearing him say "pumpkins!"

 One thing I have learned as a parent is that you take a picture before telling your toddler that they can't climb into the pen with the pigs ;)

 Hanging out with friends at a farm.

Halloween decorations:

 Some pictures from a Halloween party we had.

Costumes!

Carving pumpkins:

Halloween day:

 Brinkley as a vampire!

Halloween fun wore him out.

Trick-or-Treating!!

 Checking out the decorations back at our house: 

 Jay got to pick what he wanted on two of the pumpkins so of course they were The Count and Elmo!

Checking out everything he got. I was thankful for the neighbor who gave him Halloween pretzels so there was something he could eat right away.

He loved trick-or-treating, but he loved giving out candy to kids who came to the door even more. Every time the doorbell rang, he ran to the door all excited. A couple times he even ran off after the kids when they left.

It was a really special day. I always enjoyed Halloween- going all out with decorating and giving out candy to cute little kids, but it's a whole new world now that we have Jayden here to celebrate Halloween with.