Frumpy Mom

I can't think of anything I have bought for myself since Jayden was born. That is not a complaint. Honestly, I would rather buy things for Jayden than myself. But recently when we went to the zoo, the plastic in the back of my sneaker broke and popped through the fabric and cut my foot. Of course it happened at the point of the zoo farthest from our car. I had to hobble with my foot half out of the shoe the entire walk back to the car. It was obvious I needed new sneakers, which Adam had been saying for a while. It was getting too cold for flip flops and other than one pair of dress shoes, I don't own anything else.

So, I broke down and bought myself sneakers that cost me an amount that made me cringe. I broke one foot in high school and the other foot in the college so I need sneakers with decent support. I can't just go out and buy something cheap or else my feet will hurt whenever the weather changes. (Yes, I am old.) So logically I knew it was necessary, but it was painful to spend that much.

I was supposed to buy a new pair of jeans and a sweater too, but I couldn't make myself do it after the shoe purchase. They are still sitting in the online shopping cart.

I just feel awful spending money on stuff like clothes for myself. They are so expensive and it feels wasteful. Maybe it's because I buy all of Jayden's clothes used that it makes buying new clothes for myself feel extra ridiculous. I think it's also because I knew going into our adoption that sacrifices had to be made and clothes was always on the top of the list. Especially since I work from home. If we have any money for clothes, I feel like it should go to Adam since he works outside of the home. But, I will admit all of my clothes are extremely worn out. To an embarrassing point.

Nothing has highlighted my frumpiness more than the mom of the two toddlers I watch coming in nice clothes to pick them up after work every day. She looks so nice and professional and my hair is up in a messy (dirty) pony tail and I am wearing junky shorts and a t-shirt. Oh yeah, and my house is a mess. Always. I might as well start coming to the door wearing a snuggie every day.

I could really use a whole new wardrobe. Underwear and bras too. But, that's not going to happen. So maybe I will splurge on those jeans and a sweater and maybe a couple new t-shirts. That way I have something to wear out of the house. I'm telling you it's going to be painful to hit the order button though.