Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Where Do I Go From Here?

When you go a long time without blogging, it feels like when you finally do post it has to be something big. Lately all I have been doing is random update posts. And lots of pictures. It's been a long time since I have really sat down and wrote a blog post. I have kind of lost my blog voice for two reasons. One is that I don't have the time. The second is because someone gave me hell for one of my posts and I have been afraid to write ever since. Not just a random troll but someone who did things to me personally in my real life too. Even though it happened almost two years ago, if I am being honest, it ruined the whole experience for me. My blog has not felt like a safe place for me ever since. It used to feel like home. Or at least a comfortable therapist's office. Now it feels like a big cold empty stage with a bright light on me.

I do know I would like to start writing more. I feel like maybe if I commit to write a little each day, even if it's something small, I'll get my blogging groove back. But I know that won't happen. I just don't have the time. It's hard to justify blogging when I know I have Etsy orders people are waiting for.

I write blog posts in my head all the time. Often when I am working on an order, I'll think I just need someone to come in and take the post from my head and type it on my blog. Where can I get that service? How come you guys can't just see into my brain?

I guess another option is to just shut down my blog. Stop letting it sit here making me feel guilty all the time. Or maybe move to somewhere private to write.

I really don't know what the answer is. All I know is I want to stop feeling bad about it.

I'm going to try to come back tomorrow and really write. If I can manage that, maybe there is hope for my blog after all.


15 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear about the hateful comments you've received in the past. I hope that you don't go anywhere, but it you do I wish you only the best. It's been wonderful watching your journey unfold.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Also, what's you etsy address? I don't see it in the sidebar and I was curious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for reminding me. I have been meaning to add it to the sidebar...as soon as I figured out how to do it. I finally did! It's So Much To Celebrate. It's kind of bare right now because I have been overwhelmed with orders so I took down a lot of stuff.

      Delete
  3. I hope your blog can feel like a safe place for you again. It's really a shame that one person had to ruin that. I hope you don't shut your blog down. I know I don't come around often but I would still be sad.

    <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. You might also want to consider making your blog private if that would make you more comfortable to write. I hope that your family is doing well and that your daycare is full.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have thought about that. I think I would just start new somewhere else if I decided to go private. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have enjoyed reading about your journey for years. I hope you continue to write, and I'm sorry for what has happened in the past. I think you and your family are fantastic.

    ReplyDelete
  7. It makes me sad to read this, but I can understand the feeling. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide to do.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm sorry you feel such a spotlight. You deserve unconditional support. Whatever decision you make, I'll be around to support.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for always being a source of support.

      Delete
  9. I struggle with it too, now, on the other side of infertility. (Er, adoption.) I have less to write about and less time, for sure. I hope that you can find a way to let go of the guilt, and do what you need to do!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I totally hear you. I've never had the attack like that but I often feel like I'm lieing in wait. Also I read a lot of blogs & tweets that make me sad inside, and I feel that if I didn't have my blog, I could unfollow and delete most of it from my life. Also, I'm rarely even totally honest.

    That said, I started doing a weekly gratitude post with photos and it's turned out if nothing else to be a great way to document our life so I'm keeping that up. It's quite easy and if I feel like blogging about adoption, I can do it whenever I want to.

    Vis-a-vis your blog, I think many people who followed your journey to parenthood are happy to check in with you and Jay to see him grow and you guys evolve as people and as a family! I know I am.

    ReplyDelete