Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Pro/Con List

My nephew was born! I am an Aunt!!!

My sister lives about 7 hours from us. I would obviously love to go meet my nephew. When my sister went into labor, my gut reaction was to hop in the car and drive. And when I realized I couldn't, I cried. I hate being so far away. (I have been hard at work on a campaign to get them to move back here.)

I actually made hotel reservations to go the same weekend as my parents.

But, I have changed my mind 943 times since making those reservations.

So, I decided to make a Pro/Con list.

  • I get to see my sister. (And brother-in-law.)
  • I get to see my NEPHEW!!
  • Swimming in the hotel pool.
  • Taking Jay to their local zoo so he can see new animals.
  • Road trip in the Fall.
  • Mini vacation.
  • Trader Joes & Whole Foods

  • Just in the past week we have finally gotten Jayden to start sleeping through the night in his crib. It was such a long road to get here. Sleeping in a hotel may ruin that. He will most likely be sleeping in bed with us for those nights.
  • 7 hours in the car each way.14 hours of Jay being strapped in his car seat and hating it. HATING IT. Screaming, crying, etc.
  • $$$. My sister lives just outside a big city and the hotel prices are not cheap. Add in food and gas and it's a lot. We will be paying for it for many months. (Not to mention the money I am losing by taking off from work.)
  • I've been feeling really sleep deprived and overwhelmed lately. This would be a weekend away getting nothing done. (I still have all of Jayden's birthday party stuff taking up my entire back porch!)
  • Packing for a trip with a one year old is really hard.
  • An entire weekend of being places that are not baby proofed.
  • We would need to find someone to house sit/take care of our cats.

I don't think I can express how much Jayden hates being strapped into a carseat. Whenever we go anywhere, after about 20 minutes, he tries to unbuckle his car seat (which he can't do...yet) and then starts yelling out and then crying. Even on a normal trip somewhere in our town, I sit in the back with him to keep him company and distract him. We went to Ohio last April and the car ride was hellish. This would be even longer.

But....tiny new baby nephew!

I don't know what to do.

What do you think? Advice?

(One way of the driving will be at night when Jayden is usually sleeping.)


  1. This is only my two cents, but this is a time for your sister that she (and you) will never get back. There was something about looking down at my neice for the first time when she was just so tiny and seeing my eyes staring back at me (something I don't think I may ever get again) that I will remember for the rest of my life. Add to that the tought of little J smooching that little thing for the first time and you have the definition of a Kodak moment.

    Having said that, you need to do what's right for you and the little man. Go with your gut and you won't regret it!

  2. 1) Like you said one way of driving will be at night while he's sleeping so that's an added pro.

    2) Many hotels do provide cribs if you ask for one.

    3) I agree with the above statement. You'll never get that time back. If you have the ability to do so then go. You won't regret going once you see your nephew. However you will probably regret NOT going.

  3. Following you on Twitter and found your post for help. LOL

    I'm the mom of 5 and grandma of 4 and I thought a lot about what your situation. I remember it quite well! lol I wanted to help and started to comment and then realized how LONG this post was going to be. So instead I posted it on my blog "Laughing At the Storms" (which is about family life) so it wouldn't take up so much space here. You can see it at: I hope it helps Lisa! (I also plugged your site on it!).

  4. I think you should go. Jayden will be fine in the car. Get a few new things that he hasn't played with before to surprise him with when he starts crabbing. They can make a good temporary distraction.

    When Mea had been home about three weeks, my Aunt passed away, and we had to take a six hour car trip to go to her funeral. She was just about J's age.

    The small toys, and surprise snacks, kept her pretty happy.

  5. I considered driving this summer to see my parents (about 7 hours). Believe it or not but the cost of gas would have been about the same as the flight was. Can you find a seat sale? That would completely eliminate the 7 hours of hell for Jayden. Plus you would get to spend more time with your new nephew. Look into it - plus you might be able to find a flight/hotel package deal.


  6. I agree with the comments before mine. You will regret not going. You know from experience just how short and precious those tiny newborn days really are and I know the moment you hold your tiny, perfect nephew everything on your con list will all be worth it.

    I can't imagine how hard that drive will be with Jayden so unhappy, but hopefully he'll sleep for a good part of it. As for the hotel, a crib or pack n play sounds like it would be really worthwhile so that you can hopefully keep him in the routine of sleeping alone. We let Eliana sleep with us on our last trip and when we came home and tried putting her back in her crib, she threw her 1st all out temper tantrum.

    *hugs* I know it's a tough choice but I also know you will decide whatever is best for you & your family

  7. I have a few thoughts. One, this is the time you could spend with her with a newborn and help her out...however, if you have your hands full with Jayden--perhaps it would be better to go early next year so that you could help her out better when no one else is around. (And, frankly, you would get more of your nephew's personality if you waited a few months).

    On the other hand--you may want to share in her joy at being a new mom, etc.

    That being said--I do live nearby that big city and I could help you out a bit with a meal at our place. ;-)

  8. The question to ask yourself is: Which will you regret more? Not meeting your newborn baby nephew while also lending support to your sister and BIL in person and allowing these cousins to meet for the first time OR the myriad but temporary inconveniences of the trip itself?

  9. I'm with all the others who say GO. I will never forget being in the hospital just after my older niece was born. You can never get that time back. I know you well enough to know at this point that you'll regret it forever if you don't go (even if you put off the trip until later). That regret will make all the stuff you could be doing instead seem small and unimportant. Jay will survive...he's a trooper (and so will you). Take the advice of the pack & play, and the small surprise toys and treats. Those make a long car ride fly. I still don't like long car trips myself, but have learned if I "surprise" myself with a new little something or a munchie that I tend to be MUCH happier (and I'm a lot older than Jay @ 36)!