Happy Thanksgiving!!

Thankful

Yesterday somebody commented on my blog post from a year ago and it made me go back and read it. I really liked it, so I am going to post it again. I remember how truly thankful I felt as I wrote this list. What a difference a year can make.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

I am Thankful

I am thankful for Adam. We have been through a lot in the past nine years and he has been amazing through it all. He deserves his own post.

I am thankful for my cats. I love my babies so much.

I am thankful that my family can get together and have a really good time together. Interesting conversations, lots of laughter, and so much fun. I am really looking forward to all of us being together at Christmas.

I am thankful that my parents live only 20 minutes away and we see them on a regular basis. I am also thankful that Adam enjoys spending time with my parents.

I am thankful for my doctor. She was stuck giving me my biopsy results over the phone, but she did a good job. She gave me her personal cell phone number to call her if I needed to talk about it more. How many doctors are willing to do that? Then she sat down and talked to me right before my D&C surgery and made sure I was okay. I had tears streaming down my face during the entire conversation, but she made me feel like I would be okay no matter what happened next. She is really supportive and I feel like she is doing everything she can for me.

I am thankful that we have medical insurance. We are very lucky.

I am thankful that I was able to start a business from home so when our baby comes, I will be home with him/her.

I am thankful for all the parents and children I work with. They are really good people. I am lucky.

I am thankful that I have a mom that I can tell anything to and who is always there for me. She is my best friend.

I am thankful for my adoption friends. It is so nice to have people who really understand. They are so supportive and even though they have already adopted, they are still there for me. They are still giving me pep talks and reminding me that my time will come.

I am thankful for our house. It took us a long time to save up and buy a house. It's not big or fancy, but I would not trade it for any other house in the world. I love it.

I am thankful for all my twitter friends. So much love and support. So many laughs. I love you all.

I am thankful for Facebook for helping me keep in touch with old friends. Even if it is sometimes hard to look at baby bumps, sonograms, and birth announcements everyday.

I am thankful for my TiVo. I love it. I am sorry if that is too materialistic, but I do. Also, my lap top.

I am thankful that my sister and brother married awesome people. And that all 6 of us can get together and have the BEST time together. I just wish it could happen more often!!

I am thankful that Adam and I chose adoption. That we are homestudy approved and it's only a matter of time before our baby finds us.

Never Underestimate the Power of Jayden Pictures

Years ago my sister and brother in law announced they will never come home for Thanksgiving again because the traffic is too much to deal with. The holiday makes the 7 hour drive a lot longer.

Logically, I understand.

But, my heart has been hurting because I so badly want my sister home for Thanksgiving this year.

So, I have been sending her text messages with pictures of Jayden asking for Aunt Katie to come home. (I know, it's not playing fair, haha.)

Guess what....my sister called Friday night and THEY ARE COMING HOME FOR THANKSGIVING!!!

YAAAAAY!

They are going to wait to leave Thursday morning instead of Wednesday evening, which should eliminate some of the traffic. I'm so excited. Jayden has changed so much since the last time she was home in the beginning of October. I can't wait.

SO HAPPY!

Please Tell Me Everything You Know About Cloth Diapers

I am about to start cloth diapering (finally!) and I need all the help I can get!

We will be using BumGenius One Size 4.0, plus a couple Fuzzibunz. We have a mix of velcro and snaps.

We have ordered this diaper pail and pail liner. We also ordered the diaper sprayer that hooks up to the back of the toilet.

I think we are going to use Allen's Naturally detergent, although we have not bought any yet. I might order some Rockin Green too.

The thing I have no clue about is washing. Help! Any and all information/advice you can give is welcome!

You have to wash them before you start using them, right? More than one time?

Then once they are dirty, what is a typical wash cycle like? I have a top loading washer that is about 8 years old.

Do you hang the diapers to dry or put them in the dryer?

Oh, and one last thing-- What about wipes? What kind do you use? Do you just run them under water before using? Do you use a wipe solution? Make your own? Put them in a wipe container and keep them moist all day? Or do you use a wipe warmer?

Two Months

Birth:

One Month:

Two Months:

On November 11, Jayden turned 2 months old.

At his doctor appointment, he was exactly 10 lbs and 22 3/4 inches long. The doctor said he is doing well and he is very strong. Strong arms, grip, and neck muscles.

He is smiling a lot and making all sorts of noises.

The other night I stuck my tongue out at him and he thought it was funny. I did it a few more times and then he did it back to me. It was so cool to see him copy my action.

He likes watching the older kids play. When he is in the swing and the kids are playing with toys on the floor around him, he watches everything.

He is sleeping longer stretches at night now.

We are really looking forward to Thanksgiving because it means four full days that we get to spend together with neither of us working.

Release Photography Photo Shoot

Remember this picture?

Well, here are some more of them!!

My friend from college took these pictures. She does a beautiful job and really has a way with babies. She is a baby whisperer. Check out more of her work on Release Photography.

Taking a break to have a bottle.

Sleepy after his bottle.

Telling stories.

My Mom got Jayden this monkey while we were waiting. (Before we even knew about Jayden.) Jayden loves his monkey.

Forever Infertile

Colic sucks.

Not in a "Gee, I miss sleeping all night" kind of way. In a "I don't know what the hell is wrong with my baby and I am scared to death" kind of way.

Yes, the sleep deprivation is hard. I know right now some of you are rolling your eyes and saying you would give anything to be able to lose sleep because you are taking care of a baby. I get it. I really do. But, serious sleep deprivation over days and weeks gets really bad. You start to realize your brain isn't working the way it should. I had moments where I realized I did something but had no memory of doing it.

But, it's not really the sleep deprivation that is the worst part. It's being scared because you don't know what's wrong. You have gone down the list of possible things and your baby is still crying. And it goes on for hours. For weeks he would cry from about 9PM to 6AM and anytime we figured out something that would stop the crying, it would only be temporary. It makes you feel awful. You know he's in pain but there is nothing you can do.

But, anytime I sent out a tweet saying anything about it or mentioned it on my blog, I could feel the infertile community hating me. (Everyone was nothing but supportive, it was all in my head.)

I waited so long that it was my job to just shut up and be grateful. I shouldn't complain. Everything should be perfect all the time. (For the record, I would not trade a single sleep deprived second with Jayden for anything else in the world.)

I swore I would never write a post apologizing to everyone still waiting to start their family. I know a lot of people do, but I felt like I paid my dues and if I still didn't have a baby after everything I have been through, then that would be more depressing than anything. If I was just starting out in the IF world and saw someone like me waiting and waiting for over 7 years, it would depress me. On the other hand, it would give me hope to see someone finally start their family after all this time. After all, if a girl with no uterus can start her family, anyone can, right?

But, alas, I do feel guilty. I love all of you so much that it breaks my heart that so many of you are struggling.

I am a forever infertile.

So, I am sorry if my new baby posts upset any of you. I really am. And I am sorry if me talking about colic makes you want to hit me.

In case you were wondering though, he is doing so much better. We switched his formula AGAIN and it seems to be working. It's such a huge relief. Not because I am finally getting some sleep, but because he is happier and healthier. Just look at that video in my previous post. His smiles say it all.

Who Needs Toys When You Can Look at Pictures of Yourself?

I have a basket full of toys for Jayden. I can show him each toy one by one with no reaction. You know what he loves? Pictures of himself!

I told my mom about his excitement over pictures of himself, but she didn't believe me so when we went to her house, I tried it again.

She took video:

Does Anyone Else Do This?

Adam during one of our trips to the Toronto Zoo

In many ways my husband is a 5 year old. I'll always remember the time (about 9 years ago now) he had two pieces of candy and he ate one and I suggested he save the other one for later and he very quickly unwrapped it and put the whole thing in his mouth with a big smile on his face. I still laugh when I think about it.

It was very cold and raining (and hailing) on Halloween this year so we got less trick-or-treaters than usual. After we turned off the lights and locked the doors, I hid the bowl of candy, and went to bed. Adam stayed up with Jayden.



The next morning, he gave me a dirty look when he woke up and said he can't believe I hid the candy.

I reminded him of Halloween the year before. I woke up to candy wrappers all over the coffee table. I'm telling you, he is 5. If you leave him a bowl of candy, he will eat a bowl of candy.

I put three pieces of candy in his lunch bag.

When he got to work he told everyone about how I hid the candy. Then he told everyone I gave him three pieces for the day and they were all laughing and saying that I was rationing his candy intake.

So am I the worst wife ever or does anyone else do this?

Jayden's First Halloween

Adam's pumpkin is the one with the scary face, Jayden's pumpkin has a 1 on it since it's his first Halloween, and my pumpkin is the cat one. I wasn't going to carve a pumpkin this year because it takes me so long to do, but Adam gave me the "Jayden's first Halloween" guilt trip.

Being a lion is exhausting!