It's really hard to get Jayden to take naps on the weekend. There is always so much going on that he fights sleep and then even if I do manage to get him to sleep, he only sleeps for about 20 minutes.
I am still holding him close to me and patting his bottom to get him to sleep. Someone said I was just creating that as a habit for him and he will never go to sleep on his own. That has been on my mind a lot lately. I have no idea how to change it. No matter how tired he is, if I put him in his bed awake, he will scream. And then scream louder. Then get hysterical.
Thankfully I received reasurrances on twitter today that he is still little and it's okay to still help him to sleep.
We're still swaddling him at night. It's really the only way to get him to sleep through the night. If he gets an arm out, he will cry. Then if we re-swaddle him, he goes right back to sleep. So, for now we are going to continue to swaddle him. I guess that is a benefit of him being little. He still fits fine in those swaddle sleep sacks.
Today I had the idea to try and have him nap in his nursery upstairs for the first time. I figured getting him a floor away from us doing things would help him sleep. I had Adam go up and take everything out of his crib and get it ready. The idea was a total failure though because he woke up as I was bringing him up the stairs and when he got in the room he was FASCINATED by everything in there. He hasn't really ever seen his nursery and he was excited. He was looking at the animals I painted on the ceiling and everything else in the room.
We realized we had a lot to do to really have it ready for him anyway. So, I sat him in the chair in the room while we cleaned. He sat there with a huge smile on his face looking at everything. He was so happy. So, I guess now we at least know he likes his nursery. Maybe sleep will happen there eventually.
I have decided we are not really moving him up there until we have a video monitor. We have started saving up for one. I just don't feel comfortable without it. Especially since he will be on a different floor from us.
I think overall we will probably sleep better when he is moved, but the one thing I am dreading is his "I lost my pacifier" cry. It will not be fun to run up the stairs at 3 AM. Sometimes he does it multiple times during the night.
Everytime I think too much about all this stuff, I start imaging that we will become one of those families that have wild children who won't go to bed and the Supernanny has to come and teach them how to fix it.
I have decided it's not the lack of sleep that makes parenting so exhausting. It's always wondering and worrying about whether your choices are doing permanent damage to your children. Like somehow rocking him to sleep now will turn him into a bank robber later, haha.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
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Lisa,
ReplyDeleteI too had a tough napper/sleeper in the early days. Jayden is old enough now at night to let him cry for about five minutes, or for however long you are comfortable with, then go pick him up, give him a couple pats, and put back into bed. Then repeat. Assuming you know he isn't too cold/too hot/wet diaper/needs to burp/etc, he can cry for a bit.
And don't worry about creating a monster! People said that to me too, and I was like, Um, I like sleep, hence why my dude slept in bed with us and still does when he just won't sleep! And I always tried to keep this mantra in my head, "We'll figure it out." He'll learn to sleep, he won't be in your arms when he's a teenager, and if you have to treat him like fine china to put him into bed right now, that's ok.
SLeep is wonderful! You are doing a great job. the fact that he is so happy and content even when sleepy, speaks to how happy and loved he is. Keep up the good work. maybe even have him lay down next to you and surrounded by lots of pillows during nap time! Just a thought...
Don't let people make you feel bad! That's such a pet peeve of mine!!! Why is it bad to put a baby to sleep one way and good to do it another. (If it's frustrating to YOU and YOU want a chance, sure, fine. But if YOU and your baby are okay with the status quo who says you have to change?!
ReplyDeleteBoth of my guys went through a phase where they didn't nap too well. It was temporary, and there wasn't a magical solution or magical piece of advice that fixed it.
I always say, try anything you like or you think might work for you and forget the rest!
You're doing awesome. I'm sure that second guessing yourself is just part of parenting, but it sounds to me like you're doing a great job!
ReplyDeletei actually took Chloe to a sleep specialist at 11 months because she was still waking every hour and a half to eat. She was totally against crying it out before the age of 12 months. I have never done it to any of my kids, I guess I cheated as well. I nursed every single one of my kids to sleep until they were 12 months. My boys seemed to have gotten it that they needed to put themselves to sleep. Sure there were tears but no full fledge screaming. There is absolutely no way you can spoil your son in my eyes. He feels secure with you. Every single one of my children was the same way. I have also heard of people swaddling all the way to 6 months. Your doing a fab job, don't even think you are doing anything that may cause him to be a "wild" child. As long as you stick to a routine bectime will be a dream for you. My kids are the best sleepers now.
ReplyDeleteHey-
ReplyDeleteI found your blog through a mutual friend's. Love the kitties! Look forward to following you!
~Jess
http://bringingyoumorethanasong.blogspot.com/
I think that you guys are doing a fine job and have absolutely nothing to worry about. Jayden will sleep in his nursery one day...maybe all it needs is a British flag? #BritishJayden
ReplyDeleteHi, I just wanted to let you know just today they are having a deal on a video monitor (i know you mentioned you were saving up) here is the link to the site.
ReplyDeletehttp://thecouponscoop.blogspot.com/2011/01/lorex-video-moniter-9999-shipped.html
The more you bring him into the nursery the more comfortable he will become. I often put Nathan in his crib while he's awake while I sit there and stuff diapers or fold laundry. Now I can put him in his crib at night and he's content to be there by himself and will eventually go to sleep. Mind you, I never leave him in his crib when he's upset - I don't like to hear him cry!
ReplyDeleteI vote to let Jayden be a baby as long as possible. He'll only be a baby once. If this means holding him more often, so be it.
I just hate the advice that you should do this and that and the other thing when it comes to bed time. Do whatever you want. Do whatever feels best for you all! My youngest is 7 months and I just started thinking about the sleep training thing. But, she's my baby. I'm in no hurry. At some point in her life, she'll learn to fall asleep on her own. He will too! On the flip side, my oldest (now 5) was a horrible night waker. It didn't matter what I did (and I tried everything), she woke and needed me until she was 3 years old. I personally think it's a little easier when they understand a few more words. Only you know what's best. I'm always willing to listen to someone else's ideas, but then I'm the one that has to figure out how it works for us.
ReplyDeleteI swaddled Waleed until he began flipping over in his sleep- then its dangerous- but until then I did- I still swaddle him for naps when he's in his swings- don't let others scare you- do what works for you!
ReplyDeleteI hear you sister! I swaddled my guy til it was apparent he didn't want to be swaddled anymore - they begin to get really fascinated with their hands. And then I let his arms out and wrapped the rest of him - and then I moved to a sleeping bag until he could stand up. As for how you get him to sleep, he's a little baby, do whatever works. Sleep is vital for their brain development so if he wants his butt patted, so what?
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed that he is mostly sleeping through the night at only 4 months. We didn't get that with my DD until about 10 months. Sleep is hard, especially on the weekend, when the schedule is different, different people around, so many things to see. You're doing a great job, and it will all work its self out.
ReplyDeleteI would not worry about rocking him to sleep. He's just a baby! And you waited along time to have him in your arms.
ReplyDeleteHey, it's taken us a year and a half to get Theo sleeping semi-decently and we've done it all. Slept with him, let him cry, slept in the room but not in bed with him... the lits goes on. There's only one thing I did that I really recommend but not for a while. We started a hard and fast bedtime routine and did not waver from it EVER. We even stopped going out. We didn't change anything else. It did not gurantee that he would not wake up. It did not gurantee naps but now after about 6 months, he goes to sleep right away (I put him down awake), and he sleeps almost 11 and naps daily.