Friday, February 26, 2010

Passing Up an Opportunity

Every once in a while, there will be a situation that fits our grids perfectly and there are no risks or anything to worry about so they will profile us without calling first. That has only happened a couple times. Most of the time, we will get a phone call from our agency and they will go over all the details of the situation with me. They give you a chance to grab a pen and paper and write down all the information. Depending on the risks, sometimes I know I can say yes right away after hearing it all, and sometimes I need to call Adam and then get back to them.

Yesterday I got a call from the agency about a case with a lot of risks. There was one risk in particular that scared me. I told them immediately that out of the long list of risks, that one thing in particular scared me and I would need time to think about it and talk it over with Adam. In our 19 months of waiting (Today makes 19 months that we have been home-study ready and waiting) we have never said no to being profiled.

They said we only have an hour to think it over before they need an answer. I e-mailed the details to Adam at work and he immediately wrote back no. Which he has done before, but I have talked him into it. But this time a little voice inside me was telling me I needed to say no. No matter how desperate I am after a 19 month wait. No matter how heart broken I am after being told just the day before that we were not chosen by another expectant mother. No matter how much I thought about how it's a baby girl due next month. I just had to say no.

It felt devestating to me to make that phone call. To pass up any opportunity.

I almost didn't write about this, but I am writing about our journey to parenthood through domestic adoption and this is a part of the journey. Making the tough decisions. This is not an easy process.

I know it was the right decision for us, but I am sad about it.


  1. Lisa, I'm sorry that you had to say no, but I'm proud that you both followed your heart and did what was best for YOU. I'm keeping you in my thoughts - hopefully you'll get another profiling opportunity soon without so many risks!

  2. Bless your heart. I hate, I mean I HATE when people say "everything happens for a reason" but you truly have to believe that God (or whoever) wouldn't have let you say no, if this was your baby. I know today you feel like it's a lose-lose situation, but if you followed your heart, you did the right thing. Blessings!

  3. I am so sorry. :( I can only imagine how difficult that must have been for you.

  4. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you but you had to do what felt right in your heart and listen to your intuition. I hope an opportunity that fits your grid comes quickly and successfully!

  5. Lisa,
    I remember the first time that I turned down an opportunity. It is heart breaking to say no. You did the right thing. The right baby for you will come along.

  6. I am sorry Lisa! You do have to follow your heart and that of your husband's. I don't know what the risk was, nor do I need to know. I do have one friend who adopted her son without knowing any risks and she said she wished she would have known more before hand. I am thinking of you!

  7. sending big (tho slightly belated/late) hugs. That must have been so hard- I can't even imagine. <3