PCOSChick from His and Her Infertility told me recently about a woman who was arrested in Indiana for an adoption scam. She had contacted a number of different agencies and was even "matched" with multiple couples. She accepted money from the couples and each couple thought they were the only one. She was eventually caught and arrested.
PCOSChick sent me a link to an article about it and asked if she was the expectant mother we had been profiled for in Indiana a couple months ago. I read it and realized there is a possibility that it is the same person. (Probably not...but it could be?!) When we were profiled, I waited a couple weeks and then called the agency to find out if there was any word from her. They said they had not heard from her at all, but when they were talking to an agency in MA, they mentioned someone matching the description of her calling their agency too. So, my family advocate said that it seemed fishy. She said either she changed her mind about working with our agency, or she was calling multiple agencies. Also, I think I remember her first name being the same as the woman in the article. Could you imagine if it was the same person? It would mean she had our profile. Scary, huh?
This situation got me thinking about all the other times we came close to being hurt. Between January-May 2009, every case we were profiled for never ended in a placement. By talking to other people at our agency and reading the message boards, I was able to figure out who was chosen each time we were profiled during that time period. And then over time I heard/read one sad story after another as each one of those situations ended in a failed match or even failed placement. As disappointing as it was to not be chosen each time, it would have been a lot harder on us if we were matched and it didn't result in a placement. Not to mention, losing money would have made it harder for us to move forward.
One of the times we were profiled, it was a situation that fit most people's grids so a lot of people were profiled for it. I didn't even really think we had a chance. Then a week later I found out the expectant mother had narrowed her choices down to two couples....and we were one of them!!! It was one of the most exciting moments of my life. Which led to being absolutely crushed days later when the expectant mother went with the other couple. But, a couple months later it ended up being a failed placement. The baby was placed with the couple and then they had the baby taken from them days later. If that was us, I don't know how I would ever get over that.
So, when I look back on the last 19 months I need to remember all the "close calls" we had with heartbreak and be thankful. Thankful that things have worked out the way they have. My time will come and maybe we have been waiting this long for a reason.