I got a call from my doctor with my biopsy results.
It's not good. The abnormal cells are back and they are worse than they have ever been before. I have to have surgery Tuesday morning. They will be doing a D&C and then sending everything to the oncologist to see where we are at.
Based on what they know so far, there is a real possibility that they are going to find cancerous cells and I will need a hysterectomy. Which would save my life, but obviously mean I can never have children.
When she told me, all of a sudden I felt like I was in some dramatic made for television movie. Like this could not possibly be my real life.
So far I have cried, told Adam and my Mom, and called all the parents to tell them I need to close on Tuesday (I hated to do that because I have never closed for anything other than holidays before.) Oh, yeah, and then cried more.
My doctor was really nice. She apologized for telling me on the phone. She thought if she asked me to come in right away it would scare me and make it worse. She was right. She gave me her personal cell phone number in case I need to call her this weekend. That was really nice of her.
What is amazing is that this is the first time I have ever not worried about getting my biopsy results. I told myself they would be normal and everything would be fine and didn't even worry about them. My last three biopsies were normal. I was allowed to wait a whole year before getting another biopsy because I had three normal ones in a row. This wasn't supposed to happen.
Friday, November 20, 2009
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Sweetie - Many, many hugs. Your post hits really close to home right now.
ReplyDeleteIt's more than OK to cry and remember you can only take these things one step at a time because you cannot see beyond the next step.
So many many hugs to you.
Oh Lisa, I am so sorry. You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteSending good thoughts your way...
ReplyDeleteOh Lisa, I am so sorry. I cannot imagine dealing with that on top of the adoption roller coaster. Praying for you and sending you hugs.
ReplyDeleteIf there is ANYTHING I can do, I'm here. I am so very, very sorry.
ReplyDelete