Thursday, May 27, 2010

Great Night in our Adoption Journey

I am really glad we went to the hair care class last night.

When we got there, I recognized the head of the agency and was completely caught off guard by her being there. She came right up to us, introduced herself to us, and said she wasn't sure if we have ever met before, but she recognized us as soon as we came in because she was looking at our profile earlier that day. My head was swimming with questions, but all I managed to do was say hello and that we had never met before, but I recognized her from pictures.

We sat down with everyone else and watched as the cutest little kids came in. As more and more mothers and babies came in, I started to get tears in my eyes that I could not stop. It was completely out of nowhere. Sometimes I am fine. I can spend a whole day around babies and be perfectly fine. Then other times I can see a baby and BAM, tears come. I went to the bathroom to talk myself out of being the crazy person crying in class.

Only at an adoption event can you go into the bathroom with tears in your eyes and end up getting a long hug from a complete stranger. She got it. She knew. She told me she just brought her baby home in March and she promised me it's worth the long wait. She told me my baby just hasn't been born yet.

The class was interesting and overwhelming at the same time. A lot of it was geared towards parents who have been working with African American hair for years now. They even went around and gave individual advice to parents and children. It was all new to me and I was trying to soak in as much information as I could. This is a class we will definitely be attending every year.

Watching Adam concentrate so hard on how they were doing one of the little girl's hair made me fall even more in love with him. He was so cute watching so carefully, trying not to miss anything.

One thing that was great about this class was that it was just as much about a community of people getting together as it was about the hair care information. It was great for the kids to run around together and the parents to talk.

The biggest thing I learned was the importance of finding a good salon that is willing to work with you and teach you things. Every person's hair is different and the advice varies for each child. I really loved the speakers at the class. I wish we lived close enough to go to their salon. I gave them my name and phone number and they are going to find a good local salon for us. They gave us free samples of products made by Enjoy.

Once the class broke up into smaller groups, I saw an opportunity to speak with the director of the agency. I asked her about why she had been looking at our profile. She said there was an expectant mother who was looking for a couple without cats. She said we fit everything the expectant mother was looking for, but when she looked through our profile and saw we have cats she knew she couldn't send our profile along.

Then I did something very brave. I asked her what she thought of our profile in general. I had heard from other people that she can be brutally honest when it comes to giving profile advice so I was very nervous. To my surprise, she said she really likes our profile. She even admitted she is brutally honest with people when they ask about their profiles. She said sometimes people don't want to hear it, but she always says it. She said we are what a lot of expectant mothers are looking for and we have a good profile. I said we have been waiting for 22 months. She admitted that is a long time, but she said sometimes that just happens. Sometimes couples end up waiting a very long time for no real reason. She said we fall into that category.

She acknowledged that there have been couples who did not successfully adopt through the agency. She said that's not us. She promised me that if we stick with it, we will adopt. It really meant a lot to receive that reassurance.

Overall, it was an amazing night and we were both so glad we went.


  1. Oh, I'm so glad I clicked over here before I went to sleep! You sound so happy, which makes ME happy!

    I can recommend a couple of good hair blogs if you do end up with an African American child.

  2. Wow that sounds like a great experience. I'm so glad you were able to talk with her and the other couples. So glad you had such a great night!

  3. Wow! This sounds like a great class! And I'm happy that you were able to talk to the director. Sounds like a great talk!

  4. I'm glad you had a great night and wow! How great what the director said to you! :)

  5. I'm so happy you got to speak to the director and had the guts to ask about your profile! How reassuring to some degree that she said your profile was so great, especially since she's not someone to blow smoke.

  6. Hey if it helps, we've adopted, are totally in love with our son, and I get caught out all the time in sobby moments that totally take me by surprise. The good thing is, it all makes you a more compassionate person overall. That is great news about the director - it really is true about timing - it's an odd assortment of factors that have to align in order for the best match to happen but when it does you'll be glad you waited for it.

  7. I am so glad that y'all were able to talk to her and that the class was such a great experience <3

  8. That is such a long wait, but I am sure it is going to be so worth it when you meet YOUR baby! It's still so hard though...