While I was standing out at the bus stop waiting for the kids to get off the bus, my cell phone rang. It was the adoption agency calling to tell me we did not get chosen for the Nebraska baby.
I asked why and got the same old line about how the expectant mother just connected with another family.
She told me not to get discouraged. Really?
Discouraged doesn't even begin to describe it.
I had to fight back tears in front of my neighbors and then get a bunch of kids off the bus and somehow manage to still not cry. When all I want to do is die right now.
The kids are eating snack and I am in the next room typing my feelings in hopes that it stops me from having a complete breakdown. It's not really working.
I still have to call Adam at work and tell him. I am putting it off because I don't know how I will hold it together after that.
If I had a regular job, I would leave right now and go home. I have absolutely no idea how I am supposed to go play with other people's children now.