Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Secret Society

My summer program is now in full swing. I had a low number of kids today so I was able to take them to the library and a couple other places.

When we are out, people assume they are my kids. It's been a while and I forgot what it is like to walk around in the world giving off the impression that you have children.

People are nicer to you. They make eye contact with you and smile.

It's like there is a secret society of moms. They acknowledge each other.

Even an elderly woman stopped and asked if we wanted to pet her dog and told us to have a nice day.

When we were at the grocery store picking out ingredients for our cooking project, other moms smiled knowingly as we had conversations about what we could and could not get.

When we went through the drive-thru at Tim Hortons so I could get an Iced Capp on the way home, the lady at the window started talking about how nice it was that we went to the library (she could see the kids looking at the books in the backseat.) Nobody makes small talk with me at a drive-thru when I am alone.

Summertime always gives me just enough of a taste of being a mom to know what I am missing.

18 comments:

  1. TOTALLY. I love borrowing (er, I mean babysitting) people's kids for this reason, on top of the fact I love spending time with them. :)

    Don't lose hope! Our time's coming.

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  2. This post just proves that you are going to be an amazing mother. I hope you know that. Enjoy the time you have with the kids, and I'm praying you have one of your own soon. You deserve it.

    xo

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  3. what a heartfelt way to talk about something like that.

    It's true, even as a mom now, when people look at me when I have the kids I feel like an imposter. I do. I want to say "I didn't get here the way you did, I had to fight and throw up and pray every single day and I do hope I deserve it"

    I feel guilty being "part of the group"

    BUT I am glad that in many ways it gives you the glimpse, the HOPE, the determination to keep going, keep trying, keep living and doing...because I promise you when you are a mom, you'll be an amazing one.

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  4. Wow! That's a tough one that you deal with everyday. (((Lisa)))

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  5. Such a sweet post! If they thought the kids were yours that is a compliment. You were enjoying their company. Have a wonderful weekend!
    Gerardine

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  6. Very interesting. I never have children with me, so I never knew this sort of thing happened. I guess it's just another club I am not a member of. *sigh*

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  7. I think people are definitely more inclined to talk to other people who have cute stuff with them - kittens, puppies, kids. I just bought my Mum a puppy and she went from being the invisible woman to being stopped on the street for a smile, pat and chat instantly. Kids doing cute stuff are as appealing as puppies.

    It's so hard to be on the outside looking in though, I hope you get your baby soon Lisa.

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  8. I agree with Heather's post - had no idea.

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  9. you are going to be such an amazing mom. lucky kids *hugs*

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  10. It's SO TRUE. It's like a club. The number of people I talk to on an average day is up by at least 10 people. It's very interesting. And I feel entitled to talk to people with kids, which I did not before.

    Someone also pointed out that some of our conversations are pretty boring (lol) but I appreciate them nonetheless.

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  11. You sound like a mom already! Yes I know that club, I am only in it when my step son comes for the summer. All of a sudden people want to hang out with you and bring the kids! and talk about kid stuff.. i'ts very weird and annoying.

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  12. OMG! That is totally the truth! You seriously get treated way different without kids! I can't wait til we are a part of that club. Although I am not sure we will ever be full members. We will always know to smile at the lady without the baby because god knows what she has gone through!!! Hugs Lisa!

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  13. Your day is coming soon, Lisa, don't lose hope! Until then, enjoy this glimpse of the Secret Mommyhood Club. Before you know it, you'll be getting those knowing looks from mothers as you take your own child out and about.

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  14. You hit the nail on the head, sister. I've watched this behavior from afar with envy.

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  15. I get called "Mommy" all the time when I am out with my foster son. I AM his parent, but I am NOT his mommy. I feel like an imposter all the time and I know too well how differently I am treated when I am with him and when I am alone.

    http://1tsp-grace.livejournal.com/

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  16. I said the SAME thing about 3 or so months ago. I took my best friend's son out for a day to an amusement park (he's 2) and that's when I discovered what I called the "Secret Mom Club". It was exactly like this. People are nicer. Other moms give you understanding smiles and help you when you need an extra hand. People want to strike up a random conversation with you. So strange.

    I just started following your blog, and I'm excited to follow your journey. We have adopted, and while our wait wasn't long, I understand the feeling of being judged.

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  17. was an article I liked. Thanks for sharing.

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