Friday, April 30, 2010

I Got Tired of Waiting for the Phone to Ring

I couldn't wait for the phone to ring any longer, so yesterday I decided to call again.

This time they put me through to the person I work with at the agency. She said she had been planning on calling me to tell me we needed to send more profiles. (I guess that means she didn't get my messages?) Which is frustrating because almost all of the last bunch of profiles went to expectant mothers who disappeared with our profile never to be heard from again. Now we have to make more. As soon as she said we need more I was already dreading telling Adam. I knew he would be mad. We have to buy more books and then go to kinkos to make copies of the pages and it ends up costing a lot of money. He wants to send a postage paid envelope with every profile so we get them back. He doesn't understand why we can't do that. I just told him not think about it. It's another adoption expense that we just have to pay. It's part of the process. Although I totally get his frustration because I am frustrated too. Especially when it feels like it's all for nothing.

Then I asked her if she has heard anything from Indiana. She said no. She has a call into the agency there, but as far as she knows, nobody has heard from the expectant mother since she got the profiles. So, it looks like we will probably never hear from her again. Unless she is putting it off and ends up deciding after giving birth. She is scheduled for a C-section on May 10 so I guess there is still a chance we could hear something that day. I am not holding my breath. Looks like we will be going to see Pearl Jam after all.

I cried while on the phone with the agency...again. Getting teary eyed is an automatic response when I hear her voice. It's like Pavlov's Dog.

If we don't adopt by this summer, we have to renew our homestudy. I really, really don't want that to happen. It's pretty much all I can think about.

By the way....this is my 100th post. I randomly went back and read some old posts yesterday and that's when I realized my next one would be 100. This is a pretty pathetic 100th post, huh?


  1. :( I am sorry you have to put effort into doing something over. But, I know it's for a reason. Sending prayers and hopes that this will happen this summer.

  2. I am so sorry, Lisa. I am so sorry that your 100th post is filled with sadness. I have so much hope for you every day that you will get the phone call you deserve. Sending many positive, hopeful thoughts your way (and *hugs* too).

  3. I had no idea that you had to continually keep pouring money into making profiles =( I hope everyday that I will THE Tweet from you or get THE text message from you <3

  4. This is terrible - I'm so sorry this is not working out for you like you hoped. That's awful that you have to continually pay for more profiles, and for another homestudy if needed. Maybe the woman in Indiana is waiting, and will pick you very soon. I'm certainly hoping this is the case!

  5. I would say it's an understandable post. You need to work out these feelings in a supportive space.

    And that's here.

  6. I don't get it, why do they keep your profile??? It makes no sense! I am sure the birth mother just wants to take her time choosing the right family for her baby (hopefully you) and this is a good thing. That way she will feel like she is doing the right thing.
    Best wishes

  7. Someday you will be rewarded just like Pavlov's dog (only not with meat powder). I think they should have to give them back, and that is what I thought! Not right.